My roommate, Nathan, is the best roommate ever. Why is this, you ask? Well, there are many reasons. The reason which I will address in this post is SO delightful, I hardly think I can contain my joy long enough to type up a coherent description!
Last night, Nathan had some of his lovely, well-mannered alcoholic buddies over to watch a movie. I had left a bag sitting by the couch that contained a few items that I had earlier retrieved from a friend’s house. What better use for said bag than a trash can for mostly-empty Natty Light cans? Better yet, why not just throw the cans into the general area of the bag and get beer all over the carpet and the couch? Who needs to be careful not to spill beer on the floor? Not Nathan! Not his friends! Beer everywhere, that’s my motto!
Here is an explanation of my current living situation. It’s weird. My roommates are Nathan (friend) and Ryan (ex boyfriend, now friend). They split the rent between them. I pay 1/3 of the electric bill and the entire water bill. I sleep on the couch in the living room. It is kind of expected that I do the bulk of the cleaning around here since I don’t pay rent. I am NORMALLY fine with this. What I am not fine with is having to clean up after a bunch of drunk idiots that don’t give a shit about anyone or anything unless it is directly related to beer. Nathan, when he is with his drunkies, does not care about anything. He is a good guy, but he’s getting a foot up his ass when he comes home from work tonight, that is a certainty.
Ryan is the picture of the perfect roommate. Cleans up after himself, spends most of his time in his room, listens if you voice a complaint. He is a non-issue in my living situation. Nathan, time and time again, has proven to be a problem. He uses more dishes than you would believe to be possible. He never washes them. If, by some miracle, he DOES wash dishes, most of them have to be rewashed because he is not thorough when he does them. He refuses to throw things away…. he will hold onto food for WEEKS before allowing it to be thrown away, so most of the refrigerator is filled with old Nathan food. If you throw something away and don’t put it OUTSIDE in the DUMPSTER, it will end up back in the refrigerator again. Sick, right? It keeps getting more and more difficult to keep it clean around here. I think I could handle Nathan’s messes if they weren’t coupled with the messes his friends make as well. They break glasses and don’t clean them up. They spill everything everywhere, beer, water, Coke, food items. At any given time, there is buffalo wing sauce on at least five surfaces in this apartment. I’m worn out.
Calgon, take me away!
